He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
