You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
