i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
