if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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