Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
