I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
