Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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