can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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