Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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