I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize