i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
