Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
