I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
