matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize