Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
