I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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