'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize