2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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