I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
