His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
