What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
