we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
