thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
