he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
