Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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