I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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