and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
