Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
