i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
