I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
