i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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