Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
