so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
