My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
