lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize