you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
