I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
