OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
