I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I got inside last night via doggy door
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
