Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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