there was a trapeze. enough said
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
