i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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