You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
FUCK WHALES
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
