someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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