I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
