Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
