Pappa wants mamma naked
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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