its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
