i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
