You're my little dorito
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
