ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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