I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
