The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize