Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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