My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I stole a fireplace last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
