I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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