Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
