Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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