You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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