Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I forgot wine drunk hurts
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So apparently I’m into choking now
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
