My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I want to be your penis for a week.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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