Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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