I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
