You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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