My nipple is on Facebook.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
