so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
