Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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