Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
