I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
