shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
