I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
